Challenging Beliefs, Seeing Ourselves

Why is it that sharing our spiritual beliefs with family members is so challenging? My sister, whom I have been closer to than anyone else in the family, recently discovered my work. Her reaction was NOT pretty! Many of you have probably experienced something similar.

There is an old saying, "A prophet is never accepted in his home town." Now, I'm not calling myself a prophet by any means, but I get the point of the message. Whether its spirituality, unusual business ideas, or lifestyle, when we present something to our family members that goes against their idea of reality, in most cases they are not open to it. It shakes up who they think we are, which relates to how they see themselves.

We can't help but identify ourselves with our family, at least to a certain extent. We are joined not just by blood, but by a common history and upbringing. If you happen to be the one in your family that breaks through to a new perspective on any area of life, you challenge every other family member's idea of "how life is."
The other barrier in this scenario is the fact that family members continue to view us based on their experiences with us as children. We may share empowering information, but they can't receive it from us because they can't imagine us as anything other than a sibling or child. No matter what we may experience or what training we may have had, they still see us as no different than them. Yet, a well-known author or teacher may share the same thing and it's received as a powerful new understanding, readily accepted because of the source.

My sister was offended by my beliefs in oneness and personal responsibility for our experience of life. We've been very different in other areas of life. I have always been the unconventional one. But this difference hit her at the core of who she sees herself to be. My work shook up her paradigm, and she didn't like it one bit. She still believes in us vs them and killing in the name of God. She lives utterly by separation theology. For me, her reaction was an opportunity to strengthen my commitment to come from Love, always.

It would have been easy to react to her words with hurt, indignation, or by lashing back at her. If I did that, I would have been taking her opinion personally, as if she was attacking me as a person. She wasn't. She was attacking my beliefs and what I write. That's OK. She is entitled to her beliefs, just as much as I am entitled to mine. Trust me, it didn't feel good, but I understand where she's coming from. She lives in fear, anger, resentment, vengeance, and most of all...victimhood. I love my sister, but she has continually created the victim role for herself....just as I did for a long time.

The gift of this experience is a more open feeling of love and acceptance. How can I claim to be loving if I only love those who agree with me? I can't. Neither can I claim acceptance if I recoil when someone criticizes me or my work. When I truly love and accept myself, I don't need the approval of others. I am my own judge and jury. I can measure my motives and actions by conscience, rather than by the approval of others.

This has been a tremendous growth opportunity for me and I appreciate it. It's also been humbling. What I perceive of as the value of my work, is not valuable to everyone. The challenge is not to let it effect the way I value myself. So, how is my self-worth right now? I can tell you that I am looking at the way I regard myself. The way I treat myself, speak to or of myself, and the sense of comfort I have in my own being are in the spotlight. Is there room for improvement? You bet! My sister has given me the gift of seeing where I still doubt myself, my worth, and the value of what I produce.