Wisdom Fails

What do we do when life gets rough and our normal wisdom fails us? I had the opportunity to find out when sudden drama threw me off center. There wasn’t time to stop and think or to consciously, deliberately choose my reaction. I could have handled it better, but I got to see why I repeat, over and over again, the tools I have for changing my consciousness.

Like most people, I had a lifetime of false beliefs and negative programming before I learned that I can create myself and my life the way I choose them to be. Habits, reactions, and thought patterns were well established, most of them dis-empowering. While I have made tremendous progress in changing them, it will take time to replace them all.

When everything suddenly went terribly wrong, some of my new programming was strong enough to help me avoid some mistakes. The mistakes I did make showed me where I have more work to do. I had to take a brutally honest look at some of my character defects and trace them back to the original hurt and fear that spawned them. It wasn’t fun and it wasn’t pretty, but that’s the healing process. If I can’t be completely honest with myself, then I lose the opportunity to heal the wounds that still cause me to react negatively.

Sometimes I get bored with my daily practices or think that I’ve done them long enough and don’t need to use them anymore. If I acted on those feelings by stopping my practices, I would halt my growth and most likely revert back to my previous programming. All the effort up to now would then be wasted. I just can’t do that. I’ve come too far to quit now.

I am pushing up the last stretch of the mountain. This is the hardest part and progress sometimes feels slow. The peak is within site, but not close enough to see over the top. If I give up now, I will never know what is on the other side. I will never know what my life could have been. I’ll keep pushing. Even small steps forward will bring me closer to what’s on the other side of the mountain top. I want to be standing there, looking out over a vast, incredible, boundless world; the world that is my new life. I hope I’ll see you there. 